I outgrew my jumbo bloomers several decades ago. They were too tight. I couldn't squeeze my big ass into them without feeling tight and binded...
我几十年前就“穿腻了”我的大号花裤衩。太紧了。不勒不夹我就塞不进我那大屁股……
I found some interesting M&M flavors along the way that were fun to try. They had a crispies filled one that was nice. It was the same M&M you were used to but with a rice krispie crunchie in the middle...
这期间我发现了些有意思的 M&M 口味，尝着挺好玩。有一款脆米夹心挺不错——还是熟悉的 M&M，中间夹了米花脆芯……
I blame those sweet little, decadent candies for the reason why my ass grew bigger and bigger to the point where wiping after defecating became a task on par with a fat chick doing yoga while sitter on the toilet...
我怪那些甜蜜的小堕落糖果：我的屁股就是被它们越喂越大，大到拉完屎擦屁股成了跟胖妹坐马桶上做瑜伽一样费劲的活儿……
If you like Thin Mints, mint, or York Peppermint Patties...you're not going to want to skip these. However, keep in mind the old adage; a moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips...
如果你喜欢 Thin Mints、薄荷、或 York 薄荷夹心巧克力……别错过它。不过记住老话：嘴上一时爽，腰上一辈子……
But they're not the only new kids on the block...
而且它们不是仅有的新面孔……
I love that M&M is being daring with their flavors now. If only they'd come out with a dark chocolate lemon one! That's my favorite flavor combination...
我喜欢 M&M 现在敢玩花样的劲头。要是他们出一款黑巧克力柠檬味就好了！那是我最爱的组合……
Oh well, off to walmart to upgrade my undies...
唉，去沃尔玛给我的内裤升级吧……
What's your favorite M&M?
你最喜欢的 M&M 是哪款？