Finances in the marriage

I was wondering how married couples feel about finances. My husband and I am separated but some of it had to do with finanaces. But my question about finances would be, one person does not have the finanace to carry the whole load, would 50/50 be fair? I have had to pay more, daughter school expenses, purchasing grociees, or anything comes up I have to pay all the rest. I don’t understand women who take own all the financial responsibility with no help, if the other spouse is contributing with time, helping out with the house more responsibilities with the house and children, totally understand if one of the spouses take on more financial responsibilities, because they both are bringing something to the table. But how ever, my spouse would let me pay extra, would not help with any extra that comes up, rather car break down or our children need medical/ dental and it occurs a bill it’s on me.

我想知道已婚夫妇对财务的看法。我和我丈夫分居了，部分原因也是财务问题。但我的问题是，如果一个人没有能力承担全部开支，五五分账公平吗？我已经付了更多钱，比如女儿的学费、买杂货，或者有什么开销出现，都得我全付。我不理解那些独自承担所有财务责任、不给对方帮助的女人，如果另一方 spouse 花时间帮忙，在家务和孩子上承担更多责任，我完全理解为什么其中一方承担更多财务责任，因为双方都在为家庭做贡献。但是，我的配偶让我多付钱，遇到额外开销（比如车子故障、孩子需要医疗/牙科费用，由此产生的账单）他都不帮忙，全压在我身上。

Am I crazy to ask my husband to contribute more Tito the house? What seems to be the amount now days for a household?

我要求丈夫多出点力分担家务，这算疯了吗？现在家庭开支一般是多少？

Everything went up, maybe I am missing something, but I am wound wrong what is the average household budget?

什么都涨价了，也许我漏掉了什么，但我现在搞糊涂了，平均家庭预算是多少？

Thanks

It's OUR money, not his/hers.

这是“我们”的钱，不是“他/她”的钱。

Big question can’t be answered here

这个大问题的回答在这里说不清楚

housing expenses such as scavenger gas electric groceries insurance etc 50/50

住房相关支出，比如汽油、电费、 groceries、保险等等，五五分

child care child enrichment activities, health care insurance private education in applicable, clothing 50 / 50

childcare、孩子教育、活动、医疗保险、私立教育（如适用）、衣服，五五分

Transportation can’t be answered. Here

交通费用这个在这里答不了。

In a divorce , family court looks at all those things then puts the whammy on the slacking party

在离婚案件中，家庭法庭会综合考虑所有这些情况，然后重罚那个偷懒的一方。

My suggestion: Do a budget monthly, pay necesssry bills, 50-50 paying according to wages, percentages, look at optional bills, discuss.

我的建议：每月做预算，支付必要账单，根据工资比例五五分，看看非必要开支，一起讨论。

You shouldn't have to ask for the bum to contribute more.

别指望那个废物能多出点力。

Kick him to the curb.

把他踢开。

If you think finances are hard when you are married, wait until the divorce happens. It's 10X harder! But, household finances are just that. You pool your money, regardless of who makes more, pay the bills, save some, and enjoy the rest on stuff you like (either together or alone, but you communicate and agree, or it doesn't work).

如果你觉得结婚后管钱已经够头疼了，等离了婚你就知道了。难度直接翻十倍！不过说正经的，家庭财务就是那样。不管谁赚得多，都得把钱凑一起，交账单，存点钱，剩下的拿去买自己喜欢的东西（要么一起花，要么各花各的，但得沟通商量好，否则日子过不下去）。

a financial planner and discuss this with them.

一位理财规划师，跟他们好好聊聊这个事。

They will tell you how to approach the marriage. Most likely reject it.

他们会告诉你该怎么处理婚姻。大概率会劝你别结。

Or go to a corner bar. See the guy that sits at the end drinking and happy to have gotten rid of the ex. His advise to you will never marry again.

或者去街角的酒吧，看看坐在角落里喝酒、庆幸甩掉前任那个哥们。他给你的建议肯定是永远别再结婚。

If both of you make the same then its 50/50 but lets say if one makes 60K and the other 40K then the costs should reflect those proportions as well. This way the burden is as equal as possible as close as it can be.

如果两人收入一样，那就五五分。但假如一个赚六万，一个赚四万，那开销比例也得反映这个差距。这样负担才能尽可能平等，尽量做到公平。

It's marital socialism.

这就是“婚姻社会主义”。

Everyone pays what they can and everyone shares in the result.

每个人量力而行，收益共享。

This disincentivizes hard work.

这会打击努力工作的积极性。

Why would one partner work hard if they are only going to give up 60% of it to another person?

如果一个人努力工作，却要把60%的成果交给另一个人，那他为什么还要拼命干？

The soviet union failed for a few reasons, and this is one of the biggest factors.

苏联的失败有几个原因，而这就是最核心的因素之一。

Forced equity is a horrific idea.

强制平权简直是烂透了的点子。

Oddly, I am all for it because I don't have to do that sort of thing. But it does help to keep my competition (other men my age) at a huge disadvantage, and it is their own women doing the work! This means that my children and grandchildren will outpace their kids by far.

奇怪的是，我挺支持这玩意，因为我用不着搞那一套。但这确实能让我那帮同龄的竞争对手（其他男人）处于巨大劣势，而且还得靠他们的女人去干活！这意味着我的子孙后代肯定会远远把他们家的孩子甩在身后。

So for myself and for society over all, marital socialism is a horrible idea. But for you and your children and spouse, I LOVE the idea!

所以，就我个人和社会整体而言，“婚姻社会主义”是个烂主意。但对你、你的孩子和配偶来说，我可是超爱这个点子的！

E-QUI-TY!

E-QUI-TY!

E-QUI-TY!!

I worry about you people who live in fear of leeches but never learned how to avoid them or prevent yourself from becoming one.

我担心的是你们这些人，天天怕遇到寄生虫，却从来没学过怎么避开他们，或者怎么防止自己变成寄生虫。

Once you split - divorce or otherwise - your finances are no longer your ex's responsibility.

一旦分手——不管是离婚还是怎样——你的财务就不再是你前伴侣的责任了。

He/she should pay an amount of child support as dictated by Family Court. Period. End of discussion.

他/她应该按家庭法院的规定支付一定数额的抚养费。到此为止，没得商量。

The rest is on each of you to work out on your own.

其余的开销得靠你们各自想办法解决。

Let's get 'give me all your $tuff, 4ever, even tho iTreet U like $hit' LOL