I really need to talk. I’m a loner and have plenty acquaintances via work, wife, etc., but no one I feel comfortable with this subject. Married 28 years. Our one kid is grown and on their own for years now. I love my wife as a friend only. We have not been intimate for years, nor would I want to be with her. But I cannot go on without someone to love, with intimacy. Also, she presumes that she may decide major life issues for the both of us, and is very stubborn and bossy. That is not right for me. The issue is that I have some kind of fear or mental block about telling her that I want a divorce. I know her very well. When I tell her she may become suicidal, maybe homicidal, or evil in some other way. A woman scorned is something to fear. I absolutely will take care of her, give her everything, house, all the money in the bank, alimony. It’s all worth it to buy my life back. She has not worked for 30 years, and I have a high income. I just can’t seem to say the words “I love you, I will take care of you, BUT I want a divorce.” Someone said “Maybe you still love her and deep down you do not really want to break up.” No. I feel like a prisoner, with no control over my own life. If I can get over the hump of saying those words, to get the ball rolling, then I think I can handle it from there. (Barring any suicide or homicide or other extreme destructive behavior.) In a way, if she goes the route of anger, that makes it easier for me. The real problem I have is that I am over empathetic in general toward all people. I feel the pain of others. If she falls apart and says this is too much to handle and she can’t go on living, then I may crumble. That is not due to doubt in my mind. I cannot bear seeing others suffer. She knows that and will absolutely use it to manipulate me. I’m stuck, I’m miserable, and do not want to continue to live my life this way. Any advice appreciated.

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